Recently, the Free Software Foundation wrote a blog post titled: We have nothing to hide, only everything to protect. I think that this is a must-read for anyone who is even interested about privacy. In this post I will expand on that idea a bit.

You’ve probably heard this one at a dinner party: “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.” Heck, it might’ve been the punchline of a knock-knock joke. Except, the joke’s on us because this nugget is being used to justify Big Tech’s digital peeping Tom routine. But let’s waddle back a step to remind folks: “Sure, I have nothing to hide. Just everything to protect!”

Sure, you might not care if Big Tech’s eyeballing your meme addiction, but think about the ones you love. If you’re cool with being the “over-sharer,” be their Privacy Hero instead! Why? Let’s take a page from history. Remember the Prohibition? Those speakeasies wouldn’t have lasted two shakes of a lamb’s tail without a good ol’ dose of privacy!

And what about your great-great-great-grandma’s top-secret spaghetti bolognese recipe, passed down through generations, that can start get your entirely family to sit around the table faster than the speed of light? Shouldn’t that stay in the family?

Remember the secret clubs you had as a kid? The ones with the super-secret handshakes that granted access to the treehouse? That was privacy in action, folks! Today, it’s a different treehouse, and the stakes are higher.

Now, with lawmakers playing “pin-the-tail-on-the-encryption” and tech giants thinking privacy laws are more like “suggestions,” we’re on a mission. Buckle up! You’ll learn to dodge the privacy potholes faster than a cat video goes viral

The Misconception about Nothing to Hide⌗

Most folks who support the “nothing to hide, nothing to fear” mantra think privacy is for scandalous, shady characters dressed with a black coat, a hat, a mustache and glasses. They’re missing the point faster than a penguin slides on ice. Privacy isn’t just about hiding secret spy identities or your embarrassing obsession with Justin Bieber’s music. It’s about dignity, autonomy, and the right to shout, “My life, my rules!”

We all have pieces of our lives we prefer not to broadcast - not because they’re wrong or embarrassing, but simply because they’re personal. Your chat about the weather with your grandma, your cholesterol levels, the gold bars that you keep under your mattress, your love for collecting stamps - these aren’t state secrets. But it’s your call whether or not to share these tidbits.

Why Penguins Don’t Parade Naked⌗

While the ’nothing to hide’ argument assumes that only wrongdoers require privacy, the truth is that everyone has something to protect. Whether it be your personal information, your dignity, or your right to control who knows what about you and when, everyone has a vested interest in preserving their privacy.

In a world that is becoming increasingly interconnected, protecting your personal data is more crucial than ever. It is about preserving your ability to control your narrative, protecting your reputation, preventing identity theft, and more broadly, preserving your rights and freedoms as an individual.

The Fallacy of Fear⌗

The ’nothing to hide’ argument paints a black and white picture (much like our penguin friends), but unlike penguins, the picture isn’t cute. It’s simple: everyone has something to protect. It could be your social security number, your dignity, or even your secret penguin dance. In a world more connected than a penguin huddle in the Antarctic winter, protecting your personal data is as vital as krill to a penguin’s diet.

Moreover, it puts an unnecessary burden of proof on the individual to justify their need for privacy, instead of on the authorities to justify their surveillance measures. It’s like asking a penguin to justify why it needs ice. Innocent until proven guilty? Nah, it’s more like “guilty until you prove you’re as innocent as a baby penguin.”

The Phobia of the Fearless⌗

“If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear,” is a punchline that packs a punch but misses the mark. It falsely assumes that law-abiding penguins are immune to privacy invasions. Yet, it forgets that data collection isn’t just about catching bad eggs. It can lead to harm like discrimination, manipulation, or muzzling free speech faster than you can say “Linux.”

Also, it puts the burden on us to justify why we need privacy, instead of on Big Tech to justify their Peeping Tom ways.

Penguins, Privacy, and the Digital Tundra⌗

In the age of hashtags and viral cat videos, we need to redefine privacy. Our lives are digitized and shared across platforms that profit from our data more than a penguin loves fish. We must flip the narrative from “I’m as transparent as ice” to “I’m a penguin with a fortress.”

Data privacy isn’t just about guarding your personal igloo; it’s about creating a society where penguins can squawk their minds without fear of becoming an orca’s snack, where we can separate our public waddle from our private shuffle. It’s about preserving our right to live without some penguin-sized telescope peeking into our ice hole.

In short, protecting our privacy is about more than hiding our love for fish. It’s about safeguarding our freedom, our dignity, and our right to live without unwarranted penguin paparazzi. It’s about promoting a society where personal ice boundaries are respected, where privacy isn’t a privilege but a right, and where our data isn’t a fish to be sold, but a fundamental part of our penguin identity to be protected.